IC Voicemail

[evowhisperer]

 *There's nothing but a long silence after the ringing stops. If the caller's been looking at their screen, there are plain black-and-white letters on display:*

Please leave a message after the beep.

*Beep.*

Comments

[dead_black_eyes]

[Lazarus spent some time chained to his doppelganger and subjected to a constant barrage of vicious, vindictive hints. When those had failed to get a satisfying rise out of him, the copy had transitioned to more targeted and explicit taunts, gleeful warnings about what Lazarus would later have to sort out or try to make his own peace with. It was a lot like being back in White Pines, except that Lazarus couldn't just dismiss them as paranoid delusions when they were quite real and extremely damaging. He's heard it before from his Doppel, but hearing it again from Cesar somehow brings it home and makes it dismally awkward and real.]

Ah, I... see.

[There's nothing else to say, is there? As a result of his copy's demented whims and recklessness, Cesar already knows these personal details about the original. He suspects it's just the tip of the iceberg, only the future is a dangerously mixed bag. Who's to suggest that the doubles and their originals are anything alike in bed? He nods briskly in response to Cesar's thanks, keeping his eyes on the other man only because it's necessary to read the signs. He wants to look away, retreat into himself for a second to consider all these minefield implications. But retaining eye contact seems to be more important to Cesar than perfect attentiveness to the signs, and while there is something important in those eyes, the ability to see the best way to win a chess game or a simple yet elegant solution to a complicated problem isn't much help to him in discerning its message.

Ambiguity is neatly eliminated from the equation when Cesar's hands are on him, boxing him into a Tequila-flavored, hungry kiss. He's too surprised to react immediately, and for a full second and a half, Cesar might as well be kissing a stiff and guarded mannequin. It's hard not to run mental lists and compare the kiss with one that's both familiar and strange.

The copy was gentler. Took everything slower. Asked for feedback, always restrained himself out of concern. The way Cesar presses into him now crushes his hipbone bruisingly against the counter, forcing him to brace a hand on its edge, and it occurs to him that he's probably seeing his own copy's technique and approach in practice.

Is this what he associates and expects now? Lazarus watches Sesame Street unironically, and his doppelganger has rough and anonymous sex with strangers in alleys.

His other hand goes to Cesar's shoulder, pushing gently; it isn't a gesture of rejection so much as one of reassurance, and the effect is increased by the fact that Lazarus does return the kiss. If there's a middle ground between being treated like a precious fragile doll and being ripped to pieces before orgasm, he's pretty sure that's his preference, and communicating it to Cesar doesn't need to require a list. If anything can be said for Cesar's copy, it's that he did encourage Lazarus to be assertive about such things.

It's OK. It's going to be OK. Tapered fingertips stroke delicately along Cesar's shoulder as he leans into the overwhelming, heavy affection. We want each other and that's been established; now let me establish that it's going to be different than the last time you were with someone who looked like me.]

[evowhisperer]

*The gentle assurances are nearly enough to undo him. As it is the shaking becomes continuous, and his mouth twists, and the only reason his eyes haven't spilled over is because they're wide and avoiding L's direct gaze. Hijodeputa, he's a mess. L won't mind will he? He said he wanted sex, and Cesar can give that to him. He knows what Lazarus' copy liked, so he can--shit, what if Lazarus likes something completely different? He's suddenly aware of the gentle push at his shoulder, and the way L is taking his time, and Cesar struggles to match him. That's fine. This is fine. He'll adapt.*

*He's still too lost in what's going on inside of him to back off completely, but the kiss softens to something manageable, and the counter isn't digging into the smaller man so much. If given a little more time he'll let up so that it's not pressing at all. Was that too fast? It was like something Lazarus' copy would have done. Where does that footprint end and Cesar's preferences begin? It's been long enough that Cesar doesn't know anymore, and a deep part of him worries: Lazarus can't stand his doppelganger. What if the traces left by him are too obvious?*

[dead_black_eyes]

[Cesar's trembling. It's impossible not to notice, and Lazarus ceases the gentle stroking for a firm squeeze at the other man's shoulder. He's in ruins, isn't he? He can tell by the way their mouths fit together, Cesar's lips tense where his own are relaxed. His eyes are avoidant and glistening, and L can understand why a lot of parts of this are difficult. He feels it, too, but more distantly; he did his best to amputate Cesar's doppelganger from his emotions around the time the creature hurt Tony.

If Cesar hasn't done that with L's double... or can't... it absolutely hurts, but L decides that he can choose not to hold it against Cesar. He's tired of being coddled, and he can be a source of comfort now instead of one of pain. It's a chance he practically jumps at, wrapping both arms around Cesar in a tight, sustained embrace once he has the space to. There's more to being a giving lover than just making sure the other person gets off, and he thinks he's beginning to realize what it consists of.]

Do you want to go to the couch?

[The questions's murmured against the other man's lips; this version of Lazarus has never even seen his room, and does not assume that's where they're going.]

[evowhisperer]

*Cesar's arms fold around him too, and almost immediately the man is hard in places he wasn't earlier. His face burns and he loosens his grip, though Lazarus' is enough to keep them close. Cesar smiles weakly.*

*This is good, isn't it? Cesar nods and takes Lazarus' hand as he leads him out of the kitchen, not even turning the oven off. It can wait.*

*The livingroom is still dark, but this doesn't seem to bother him. He sits down and draws L beside him (practically into his lap), reaching right away to cup the side of his face in another kiss. His face is still warm, but his hand is steady again.*