evowhisperer | IC Voicemail

*There's nothing but a long silence after the ringing stops. If the caller's been looking at their screen, there are plain black-and-white letters on display:*

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

dead_black_eyes

[The doppelganger reaches eagerly for the offered meal, ripping open the back and starting to devour its contents like a starving man.]

This is amazing. Thanks, I owe you one...

[He licks his fingers and goes for more as Cesar kneels to examine Lazarus, who outwardly shows no signs of injury or distress, aside from looking a little thinner and more worn. If he's been punishing his prisoner with a lack of regularly available food, it looks more like an extension of the neglect he already visits on himself rather than a malicious act.]

I told you, he's sleeping, after... what three, four days? You won't wake him.

[He draws closer, practically munching the bacon in Cesar's ear.]

I've missed you. You and your big, thick, juicy...

[Crunch.]

From:

evowhisperer

*His eyes widen, and the doppelganger should more than recognize by now that at least for that moment he has the man's full attention. Cesar can finish the real sentence in his mind, complete with an image of where the copy's face was the last time he said those words, and everything that came before and after.*

*Cesar gives him a glance, and then reaches for L's pulse again, more for something to look busy than to actually check. By all appearances, it looks like what the doppelganger said is right. Cesar shakes him again, but more gently, and the useless motion ends sooner than the first try.*

*What now? He wants to make sure L is seen to, but right now this means he's essentially alone with L's doppelganger.*

*And is that too terrible for him? Is he going to leave? There's a sneering voice in his mind that sound suspiciously like his own, and Cesar's mouth twists. Is Cesar so out of control that he thinks he couldn't resist one scrawny man's advances for the sake of making sure someone else wasn't dragged headfirst down a flight of stairs?*

*His hand is still on L's shoulder, and he takes it back now, knowing his decision's already made. It's not one he likes...*

From:

dead_black_eyes

[The doppelganger seems twitchy and impatient with the attention Cesar's giving his original, but says nothing, confident in the man's difficult to rouse state. The sooner Cesar can confirm that for himself and return his attention to him, the better.

L's pulse is slow, but steady and consistent under Cesar's fingers. Shaking him is ineffective. He doesn't stir when Cesar withdraws his hand any more than he did when he was being touched.]

Sleepy-head. It's so good you came along... I wasn't just hungry, I was starting to get a little bored.

[He cants his head sideways, smiling, the vague implication that he could have entertained himself with his prone and helpless double lighting up his dark eyes.]

From:

evowhisperer

*Cesar turns to look at him, and there's a shift in his stance subtle enough that he might not even be aware of it: he's gone from assessing to protective, all without moving a muscle. He indulged this doppelganger when he thought he was the real L. With the original here in front of them, and completely unable to protect himself, the game has entirely changed.*

{L probably needs that food more than you do. Where are you both staying?}

Edited Date: 2015-03-28 06:14 am (UTC)

From:

dead_black_eyes

[That sly smile doesn't budge. L's doppel isn't quite predatory, but he's not far from it, just close enough to be concerning.

Cesar can't leave like this, can he? It would be dangerously irresponsible.]

We're staying here, where he lives. There are beds upstairs.

[Suggestive headtilt. Cesar had to know that was coming.]

There's a kitchen too, but we're never there. "We", as in the two of us, as in I'm not getting fed. Ergo, I need this food just as much as he does.

From:

evowhisperer

{Equal needs. This means that as hungry as you are now, the real L should have just as much access to other food.}

*He turns his back on the doppelganger and works his arms under L's knees and shoulders, scooping him up carefully. As light as L is, he's not exactly insubstantial, and Cesar can only hope that it's not far.*

*He levers them both to a standing position and frowns slightly at the doppelganger, jerking his head towards the ceiling. Lead on.*

From:

dead_black_eyes

Well he could if he wanted, but... say, do you know him at all?

[He watches distastefully as Cesar scoops up his counterpart.]

Here's a thought. What if I'm every bit as "real" as he is, and I'm really your boyfriend? We've done more, haven't we?

[He leans against the stairway's banister, still munching bacon, making no immediately move to lead the way to where the beds are.]

We could make the best of this time. No inhibitions, no neuroses, no problem. Admit you at least liked that.

From:

evowhisperer

*His arms are full, so he obviously doesn't reply that way, but he doesn't even try to throw him a significant look. There's nothing but an unyielding lack of attention--one that someone who has L's memories will find very familiar.*

*It's the same cold shoulder he had when he reappeared this last December. He'd been trying to outlast L and his relentless needling, back then. How much more successful will it be for him this time? More, he hopes. Cesar carries L up the stairs as far as the handcuffs will let him, tugging insistently if the chain pulls taut.*

From:

dead_black_eyes

[The doppel's expression darkens over Cesar's shoulder. When the long chain pulls taut, he tugs back, a sharp yank accompanied by a glower.]

Admit it, Cesar.

From:

evowhisperer

*It's a yank that has perfect leverage to twist Cesar around, and his foot misses the next step. He inhales sharply, and there's a teetering, wavering moment that lasts for forever where he's not sure if he's about to fall down the stairs and take both Ls with him.*

*He recovers. His shoe comes down on the next step down , and the look he shoots the doppelganger is sharp, and mutinously irritated.*

From:

dead_black_eyes

[L's doppel doesn't seem afraid that they'll fall; in fact, he appears to anticipate it, watching the moment with bated breath and only releasing it in a tense sigh when Cesar's again steady on his feet.]

Why make this harder than it has to be? I'm here too. You have me. I thought that meant something but instead you're touching him, after throwing food at me like a zoo animal. How is that supposed to make me feel?

[He's unfairly demanding of someone who can't easily answer him; it's the kind of move he clearly thinks will force Cesar to put down Lazarus, or else try to communicate something favorable through the subtleties of expression that the doppel is adept at reading where Lazarus is not.

It's also clear that it had better be favorable.]

From:

evowhisperer

*He does get a response this time: Cesar shakes L slightly and rolls his gaze from L, to the stairs, to the ceiling. He's carrying him upstairs, because it needs doing, because he's worried about him, and because whatever trust and care the doppelganger might've once had, it's all gone now.*

*That's the heart of it: His reaction is a returning flare of temper, and he's standing his ground. L can keep trying to find purchase in his cold exterior, but right now Cesar doesn't have time for him, and is even debating dumping a bucket of cold water on the man in his arms until they can come up with a better solution. Waking him from the only sleep he's had in four days wouldn't be inhumane, right?*

From:

dead_black_eyes

[It wouldn't be inhumane, and it might well be necessary... but rousing him from the deepest part of a heavy dose of Xanax might prove difficult. L's doppel knows this, and responds to Cesar's impatience with an eye roll of his own, as if to inform him just the extent to which he is wasting his time.

He starts up the stairs at a quicker pace than the one Cesar can probably manage, given that he's carrying another human being and already exerting himself.]

The things I do for you that you just don't appreciate... if you knew what it took to give us this time alone you'd be a lot more sympathetic. Way to waste it.

From:

evowhisperer

*Cesar sees him overtake him, and he tights his grip on L just in time to keep the doppelganger's childish tugging from pulling the man right out of his arms. It's a grim, resentful resistance, and Cesar takes it even slower than he was walking before, having to lean back slightly.*

*Even as it's creased with irritation, there's also confusion. 'What it took to give us this time'? Did the doppelganger orchestrate this deliberately? .... What, did he just spent the last three or four days being as unpredictably insufferable as possible for the sake of keeping L unable to sleep?*

From:

dead_black_eyes

[It's a good thing that Cesar tightens his hold when he does, otherwise the double might well have yanked the chain taut and at least caused him to overbalance. L's doppel glowers, returning the resentment doublefold as Cesar slows his pace further.]

He won't wake up. Not anytime soon. Your options are to spend time with me, or to leave him with me, and I'm not happy with him right now. Or you, for that matter...

From:

evowhisperer

*Not happy with Cesar? Cesar hardly thinks the doppelganger is the one with the moral highground here, especially considering the bacon he brought.*

*Rather than bristle and affect outrage at the petulant complaint, Cesar sighs slowly, staring ahead as he follows. The doppelganger might be the only one awake right now, but he's also helpless. This is probably his first time without L's watchful (and admittedly likely confining) attention on him in weeks. This attention is dangerous and irritating, but he can't say he's completely unsympathetic, can he?*

From:

dead_black_eyes

[Not happy with anyone, judging by his stormy expression and bristly, hunched posture. He thinks that by all rights, it should be him in Cesar's arms right now, not someone who hasn't been working for it really hard these last two weeks. Hell, if it wasn't for him, L would still be giving Cesar blowjobs on the couch. It would have gotten boring and he would never let Cesar manhandle him the way his doppelganger has insisted on from the very start.

And yet here he is, hauling him upstairs when he's not even awake to enjoy it.

Cramming his hands in his pockets, he stalks up to the top of the staircase and starts toward the dormitory wing. There's a distinct smell of paint and plaster, and he kicks open the door to a particularly sterile room that looks custom-designed to make a prisoner uncomfortable. The walls are bone-white and undecorated, the bed has a mattress on it only because Tony insisted on delivering one, and the only personal effects are an ancient, tarnished menorah and stainless steel ashtray on an otherwise bare desk.]

Do you think you could convince the custodian to give you the keys to these handcuffs? He's got instructions not to listen to me, but if Lazarus' boyfriend asked for them he'd probably cough them up.

Edited Date: 2015-03-30 11:59 pm (UTC)

From:

evowhisperer

*Cesar stands in the doorway for a few seconds, taken aback. His eyes travel slowly across the room's naked walls and unfriendly furnishings, before he finally snaps them towards L and shakes his head twice.*

*The room is small enough that he doesn't have to drag the doppelganger anywhere to do so, but the chain still twists around him as he heads towards the bed. Hopefully the mattress is soft, because his arms are tired enough after clutching him that the landing is less graceful than he'd originally intended.*

*Cesar turns his back on the doppelganger, arranging L into a reasonably comfortable-looking position. The pillow gets pushed further under L's head. Cesar straightens, wondering if it's worth it to find a blanket, or if he should really start thinking of an actual plan for how to keep L entertained without compromising himself or L.*

From:

dead_black_eyes

[Even if L's doppelganger is his precise opposite in a lot of ways, he has the man's icy stare down to a T. He watches frigidly as Cesar drops the sleeping man onto a mattress that is honestly so soft that it shouldn't have a place in this spartan environment. His limbs are limp and malleable as Cesar arranges them into something more natural and not quite so haphazard ragdoll, all while his doppelganger watches with silent reproach.]

There. It's done, he's in bed. Are you happy?

[Said more than a little snappishly.]

Do you ever wonder what he did for your copy? Probably like nothing I did for you. Just saying.

From:

evowhisperer

*It's tiny. He tries to hide it, and with his back turned he even has an unfair advantage.*

*It won't help him in the end, because this L has sharp eyes, and the truth is that yes, he had wondered. On the opposite side, he'd also wondered what kind of an experience it must have been to leave L sitting heartbroken across a hotel-room entryway, staring at him with eyes that burned and the words 'he was so good' whispered like he couldn't help them. Why did there have to be anything good at all about someone who was supposed to be his opposite? He hadn't had time to think so at the time, but it hurt afterwards, and he wishes it didn't: why had L been so sad that the real Cesar hadn't been the copy?*

*He's being unfair about this. Cesar's emotionally sophisticated enough to understand that it hadn't been about Cesar, but was probably about the trust that was being broken, and whatever other things were going on. Just because Cesar's feeling that his lungs had been full of glass and that finding L was the first step to taking out the pieces, doesn't mean that L had anything like the same sense.*

*Focus, Cesar. This L is jealous. He wants Cesar to remember everything he did for him. What is Cesar going to say to this?*

*He draws himself up and turns calmly, putting a loose fist to his chest. The hand makes a circle: 'Sorry'.*

Edited Date: 2015-03-31 02:28 am (UTC)

From:

dead_black_eyes

[L's doppelganger continues to watch him; every second Cesar's back is turned is one that he's staring harder with narrower eyes.]

I'll give you a hint. My guess is he's vanilla as they come, probably too scared to try anything worth doing. And that isn't you.

[He takes a few steps toward Cesar after he's turned, chain clinking as it gathers and drags along the ground.]

I'm sorry too. Sorry I couldn't replace him completely... he resisted and it was so obnoxious. You know how he is. Questions, endless questions, attention to irrelevant details when there are other things to be tended to. He's the type to parch an entire garden while he drowns one stupid weed. Wouldn't you rather be with someone who cares about his own health instead of trying to martyr himself constantly, who's always down to fuck and doesn't care about the notebooks you hide around your apartment?

From:

evowhisperer

*He'd rather not deal with either extreme, if he had his way. Cesar holds his ground, but he's taking the time to look around the room again: the doppelganger is getting a silent treatment. Cesar is deliberately trying not to think his words over in great detail, even though he is thinking about them. Wouldn't he rather someone who didn't let themselves be exhausted so much that he had to guard their limp body from the cause of the most fucked up relationship he's ever been in? Of course he would. Who wouldn't?*

*Cesar folds his arms without any visible cue or message to either man, studying the desk's ashtray.*

Edited Date: 2015-04-01 05:37 pm (UTC)

From:

dead_black_eyes

[Both extremes are discouraging and frightening vignettes. As Cesar glances around the room, he'll notice little he hasn't already; it's seemingly stripped of personality and comfort, the only furniture aside from the desk and bed a metal folding chair. Two cigarette butts and perhaps a teaspoon of ash are in the metal tray, and the bottom drawer of the desk is just slightly ajar. L's doppel notices it, nudging it shut with his foot, and its contents rattle like maracas as he does so.

The chain clinks softly as he leans against Cesar's side, attempting to manually drape the other's man around his narrows shoulders.]

I can be pretty selfish, but at least you know what I want and you're completely free to give it to me. That's never been a problem. You don't have to admit that I'm the better on in every way, but in that way, I win objectively.

From:

evowhisperer

*Cesar's arm is compliant, and for a long second his appeasement stance runs through and through: he stays where he is, holding the doppelganger to him and letting him take as much from the closeness as he can. He even turns towards him, mouth settling into a familiar line.*

*Then his eyes sharpen, and it's as though he's waking up. His arm jerks, and he pushes L back by the shoulder, stepping further away. What is he thinking? This isn't like when he still thought this was the real L. He's doesn't need to try to make this work when this isn't even the original. He doesn't owe him anything.*

*Since when did he have to 'try to make it work' with the original? The thought strikes him with the abruptness of a falling safe. They'd been intimate, sure, but to deserve this much commitment--? They'd been drunk. There had never been any commitment, so why has he even been trying this hard?*

*Cesar takes another step back, pinching the bridge of his nose as a sharp ache forms between his eyes. If he leaves, what will really happen? What would it matter even after those consequences? Does anything Cesar does for L matter, when nothing he can do would ever make up for past crimes?*

{Let's not get into this right now.}

*He's radiating a sense of 'do not touch', and keeps looking back and forth between Ls.*

From:

dead_black_eyes

[For a little while, anyway, it's exactly what the doppelganger wants, and he soaks it up, pressing his angular body against Cesar's more solid one. He peers up expectantly when Cesar turns toward him, expecting at least a kiss, but then he's being rejected, pushed away in a way that makes him instinctively start to cling. His hands slip away at the shoulder shove, which must be the opposite of affection. It stings. He narrows his eyes, and then abruptly, his features even out into placid, deliberate indifference,]

Mm. I can see you want your space. That's fine. I'm the one who understands that, remember?

[He turns, climbing onto the bed with his counterpart. For the first time, the original stirs, half-raises his arm, but it's like the doppelganger said: it really seems like he can't wake up, not yet and not fully. The copy gently takes his wrist, catching it mid-motion as his own fingers search for a pulse point. Each touch and gesture is slow and delicate, and somehow it probably raises more alarm bells than anything blatantly aggressive could.]

It's not like you have to be here for me to help you out with your problems, even if you seem to have some trouble admitting what those are.