*It's tiny. He tries to hide it, and with his back turned he even has an unfair advantage.*
*It won't help him in the end, because this L has sharp eyes, and the truth is that yes, he had wondered. On the opposite side, he'd also wondered what kind of an experience it must have been to leave L sitting heartbroken across a hotel-room entryway, staring at him with eyes that burned and the words 'he was so good' whispered like he couldn't help them. Why did there have to be anything good at all about someone who was supposed to be his opposite? He hadn't had time to think so at the time, but it hurt afterwards, and he wishes it didn't: why had L been so sad that the real Cesar hadn't been the copy?*
*He's being unfair about this. Cesar's emotionally sophisticated enough to understand that it hadn't been about Cesar, but was probably about the trust that was being broken, and whatever other things were going on. Just because Cesar's feeling that his lungs had been full of glass and that finding L was the first step to taking out the pieces, doesn't mean that L had anything like the same sense.*
*Focus, Cesar. This L is jealous. He wants Cesar to remember everything he did for him. What is Cesar going to say to this?*
*He draws himself up and turns calmly, putting a loose fist to his chest. The hand makes a circle: 'Sorry'.*
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Date: 2015-03-31 02:27 am (UTC)*It won't help him in the end, because this L has sharp eyes, and the truth is that yes, he had wondered. On the opposite side, he'd also wondered what kind of an experience it must have been to leave L sitting heartbroken across a hotel-room entryway, staring at him with eyes that burned and the words 'he was so good' whispered like he couldn't help them. Why did there have to be anything good at all about someone who was supposed to be his opposite? He hadn't had time to think so at the time, but it hurt afterwards, and he wishes it didn't: why had L been so sad that the real Cesar hadn't been the copy?*
*He's being unfair about this. Cesar's emotionally sophisticated enough to understand that it hadn't been about Cesar, but was probably about the trust that was being broken, and whatever other things were going on. Just because Cesar's feeling that his lungs had been full of glass and that finding L was the first step to taking out the pieces, doesn't mean that L had anything like the same sense.*
*Focus, Cesar. This L is jealous. He wants Cesar to remember everything he did for him. What is Cesar going to say to this?*
*He draws himself up and turns calmly, putting a loose fist to his chest. The hand makes a circle: 'Sorry'.*